I spent the week worrying whether come Monday I will have my midwife of choice. I get a call yesterday from her office: they can’t make a decision until Wednesday, and it’s really looking like my chances are slim. A big part of this was completely my fault. I had delayed a little (again) although she knew about it and assured me she can wait a week. Well, it didn’t exactly work out. So right now, we don’t have a midwife. Chris pointed out (again) that in New York, you don’t just show at the theater for an opening night and hope to get the birth you want. “Fool me once” he said “shame on you. Fool me twice … you can’t get fooled again.” I told him we’d just have to get a book on birth and try it ourselves. Here’s his scenario:
CKAB do Birth
Chris, reading Do It Yourself: Birth. Points at parts of Alisa’s body.
- Ok, we have two breasts, one belly, two legs. Right. Here are the pelvic bones, right. I think if I peek with this flashlight, I can see the cervix… which looks like… oh, eek….. ok, hope I don’t have to do that again… So, yes, I think we have all the parts.
Alisa, breathing through contraction.
- Hmmmmm, haah, hah. haaaah, Ok. What’s next.
- Ok, says here, we need boiling water (I’ll go put that on), scissors, bath towels…darn didn’t get those. I’ll run out to Bargain Land. I’ll bring my cellphone. Call me if you can think of anything else.
She’s doubled over in pain. He’s walking out the door. As contraction is ending, she yells out
- Don’t forget the shower curtain.