It was a few years ago when I first heard the expression “sleep training.” I was walking in Park Slope when I overheard a conversation between two moms. One said “I think we’re going to hire that sleep trainer this week. Jack is going to hate it but I think it’s time.” I remember wondering why would anyone hate sleep training, in my mind I imagined some kind of a sleep clinic where you can get as much rest as you wish. I didn’t realize that Jack was an infant and that “training” involved letting him cry through the night (or two, or three…) in order for him to learn to fall asleep on his own.
The process can be gentle, sure. The baby may have the right kind of disposition for this sort of thing and just fuss a little before falling asleep. And voila, you have yourself a self-soother. Or not — and you’ll be leaving the house for the weekend with a babysitter enduring the hell of a night-long crying baby (one mom found her baby sleeping upright, clawing at the rails of the crib). This way, you’ll get the much needed rest and he will learn to sleep through the night, and be independent, self-sufficient. After all, it’s never too early to show the child that he was born into a difficult world where promises are broken and where you can’t trust anyone, not even your mother.
I didn’t get to do a survey (though I would like to) and see how many of my mom friends are doing it, but it looks like all of our doctors are routinely recommending it. And we are falling for it. Yes, we all want to sleep through the night, and sleep training is not torture. Or so They tell us.